Week 14 – What do you mean absent?!

Week 14 – Absent?! What do you mean….how is that possible?? We start off the week at our meeting with our fertility Dr to review the IPS scan – which in my head was AWESOME and was so excited to hear what he had to say. Fiancé and I sit with smiles on our face that very quickly turned to looks of concern. He read the report where the tech noted, Nasal Bone = Absent. ABSENT. WTF does that mean?!?! The Dr didn’t seem to be very concerned. He went on with the report and read all the other great things that he said were great, asked us if we’ve started on the baby’s room, asked if we’ve picked names, asked us if we’ve started telling people and told us flat out to be excited and celebrate this baby. Which we have been! And we’ve started on the baby’s room, and telling people, and bouncing names around. But now…there’s a cloud of concern.

We left there, headed home and continued our day as planned. Give our house a really good cleaning. After a few hours, we were exhausted and met in the living for a moment of relaxation…and googling. We both started silently googling “absent nasal bone” separately and then asked each other – what are you doing? Some really scary stuff started to come up. I was trying to read more of the “they said my baby had an absent nasal bone all the way until I delivered and he is a perfectly healthy baby” posts. But there were still the FACTS…and the facts were scary. Absent nasal bone = downsyndrome. I couldn’t even read them. I started to get really upset, Fiancé was also getting scared, we tried to reassure each other…and finally he said lets get out of here. Let’s go fly some kites and take a walk on the beach. So we bundled up and headed out. It was a great way to get our minds off of it.

Throughout the week we talked about it some more, studied the ultrasound pictures that were given to us – where I was positive I could see a nasal bone and was sure the tech just missed it. Reality is, I go for blood draw #2 this Saturday and have my midwife appt to review everything in the week after. I ended up having a complete mental breakdown one night and called my midwife first thing in the morning. She was amazing. She said she’ll review my bloodwork as soon as it comes in and call me. She also said she’ll send my scan to a specialist and if they feel necessary they will call me in for another scan. All of this made me feel a such a huge a relief and like I’m in really good hands. So now…..we sit and wait for the call. Fiancé is away travelling next week so big prayers that it’s good news!!

I attended a very close friends baby shower on Sunday and still didn’t tell her or the friends that I had there that I was pregnant. I don’t know, I just didn’t feel like it was the right time. But then, she had the baby 3 days later!!! And I felt like then it was the right time. I sent her the u/s pic and she was sooo excited!!! 🙂 I’m also meeting a great old friend for dinner Friday night and will tell her! So, we’re getting the word out there, we’re celebrating, and Fiancé has felt a better since I called our midwife.

Sending out all of the positive vibes to the universe right now, hoping for positivity to be sent back to us.

My Symptoms: Waistline is still expanding but my weight is not greatly increasing. I start the day about 2-3lbs heavier then where I started but can end the day up around 7lbs heavier. I feel good! We’ve ordered a new bed (hoping the great Endy reviews are true!) and will hopefully have it by Friday because my hips and our mattress are NOT friends. It’s tough sleeping on my side on a crappy mattress. Headaches have been minimal this week. Energy is staying up there and my moods have been better. I still haven’t purchased maternity clothes but think it’s time I pick up a pair of pants and at least some baggier clothes. I have to hid my pregnancy at work until the end of the month at least. I just started this job and am still on the 3 month probation. I don’t want that to weigh on their decision to keep me or not – and god I hope they do because I’ll never find another job now!!

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Week 13 -Summersaults!

Week 13 – After a chilly weekend closing our cottage, Monday was AWESOME! My mom came with me to my IPS ultrasound because finace couldn’t get out of work. I was a nervous wreck! I was just really hoping that everything was going to be fine. My mom had to stay in the waiting room for most of it. My bladder was FULL. Like waaaay to full. The tech kept asking me to go and pee a few cups out and by the end, she was like, just empty it (I’ve always had a big bladder and had a feeling this would happen!). She told me that the wee babe was in there bouncing around and doing summersaults! I couldn’t believe it! Because I couldn’t feel a thing. She said I have a posterior placenta and that I should be feeling some movement soon – eeeeeeee!! She told me the babe is measuring right on track, had a really healthy heartbeat of 153bpm. She was having a hard time checking everything else because the babe was so active and asked me to roll on my side, cough, and roll back over. She eventually went and got my mom and she let us watch the screen. It. Was. Amazing!! My baby was soo much bigger then before. It’s body was finally bigger then it’s head, it had long arm and legs that were moving around and I could see that strong heartbeat. She gave us the sheet and told us to go to a clinic and get blood drawn. The sheet actually had all the measurements and the Nuchal (which I was most nervous about) was only 1.9 – HUGE relief. I know that my age and the results from all the bloods need to be taken into account as well, but I was most scared about this. I think I can be calm for the rest of the week. We go to our fertility Dr on Saturday to discuss the results of the scan so I guess we’ll see what he says!

The rest of the week went really well. I had dinner with two of my besties, 1 I’ve had since kindergarten and the other since highschool and I finally told them the news! They already had a HUGE suspicion! They were sooo happy for me and it felt so great to tell them!

I FINALLY had a massage this week. Let me tell you…sweet friggen relief!! My neck/shoulders/head had been in a bad spot and I could feel they were full of tension. I found a new place and I can not wait to have to go back! She got all of the knots out. I felt amazing after! And on top of that, I went home to homemade chicken pot pie in the oven – a huge surprise being made by fiance! I’m a very lucky girl!!

My Symptoms: Other then the headaches, this week I’ve been feeling really good. Energy is definitely coming back. And after that massage my head is feeling a million times better! My waistline is growing and the elastic holding my pants together is really getting stretched to it’s maximum ability. I think it’s really time to invest in a pair of maternity pants. Or at least a belly band to help hide my wide open zipper!

Week 12 –

Week 12 – Well…..everyone in our immediate family knows!! This past weekend was Canadian Thanksgiving and we took the opportunity to spill the beans. First up was my mom, step-dad, sister, Grammie, brother, his gf, and aunt and uncle (only because they were there). Everyone was shocked – which shocked us because we thought my parents must of had a clue. They were all super excited for us!! Next up, we stopped by my Dad’s on the way to fiancés  parents for dinner. I didn’t want him to be the last to know, and his weekend was busy and I knew we wouldn’t get another chance to see him. He immediately started crying – sheesh I can’t handle these men crying! His bday is 3 days after my due date so of course he’s even more excited! We then told fiancés sister and her boyfriend. Now they all know!! Huge weight off my shoulders getting that secret out there!

I had my first Midwife appointment this week and it was great! She was awesome, we mostly talked about past health history, what they do, an when/if they would pass off to an OB. As we were wrapping up the visit, she asked if I had any more questions and I blurt out CAN WE LISTEN TO THE HEARTBEAT?!?! I laid down on the bed and she got out the doppler and there it was…she found it right away!! 151bpm! It was amazing! There would be a little blip and she told me that was a kick! Again, my crazy anxious brain was relieved!

I felt really good this week. I wasn’t as tired as I had been but tiredness was still my biggest symptom. That, and these headaches that seem to be reoccurring weekly and lasting for days. My pants are tiiiiiiiight still but I’m still rocking my regular jeans, and the elastic band holding them together is getting a lot looser. Finding shirts to cover up the bloat is getting harder as well. Taking my pants off at the end of the work day, is probably my favourite time of day!

I’ve FINALLY started working out in the mornings again. It’s sooo hard to pull myself out of bed, after having a bad sleep (vivid crazy dreams, tossing and turning, and usually one pee) but I always feel better when I get in at least half an hour in the morning. Now, I just need to keep it up!

We headed to our cottage for the weekend Friday after work to close it for the winter. As soon as got in the car, my headache started, and it got even worse when we met up with fiancés dad and switched over to his car. He had a super strong air freshener that almost killed me. I don’t know why I didn’t ask him to get rid of it! We stopped for dinner and to watch the baseball game (Go Blue Jays!!) and the two of them had some drinks, so I drove the last hour to the cottage. FULL HEADACHE. It was THE WORST. The lights, the smell, everything…. It lasted well into the next day as well. I hope these go away with time!! I finally got my prescription for massage therapy, now I just need to find an amazing therapist – who doesn’t talk my ear off the entire time – I seem to have the worst luck.

 

Week 11 – EXTRA EXTRA! Hot off the press!!

Week 11 – We finally told people!!! But I’ll get to that in a bit…
So…My week started with a wedding where I was the DD (obvi) and it was the WORST. Drunk People….soo annoying…. Luckily fiancé tried to deflect all the bad breathed close talkers so I didn’t have to deal with them. And it turns out, I need the liquid courage to help turn me into a *good dancer (*I am sure I am not nearly as good as I think I am in my head, but, with the liquid courage you just don’t care!).

The next day was brunch with some gf’s, and THE gf was there (see previous posts). I asked her to walk to my car after, where I gave her some flowers and a card and told her. “I’m pregnant”. And I instantly burst into tears. I was happy for me and sad for her. She was so happy for me because she knows the struggle that we’ve been going through. I thought it was strange that she didn’t seem sad for herself – I was feeling sad for her. We chatted for a little while longer and went our separate ways. She messaged me a few hours later and said thank you for your empathy. She said it was just hitting her and she had been crying for the last few hours, and she couldn’t understand my tears at first.  I’m glad she knows but I’m still a ball of emotions towards this.

BREAKING NEWS – We also told fiancés parents this weekend!! And it made it SO REAL!! After dinner we decided it was time, (secretly texting each other at the table) and I went and brought out the envelope with the ultrasound pics. His step-mom was so in shock and kept saying “are those yours?!?!”. His dad cried. I cried. It was all so sweet. We told them it had to be kept a secret and they promised. Next up are telling my mom and step-dad this weekend! And our siblings will be this weekend, And I’ll have to find an excuse to get my Dad over to our place as well. I’m so excited for everyone to know, but also so nervous. I know anything could still happen and that scares the s#!t out of me!

I have still been feeling really great (sorry to all those suffering from morning sickness!). I’m very tired still, and if I’m not writing things down, it’s escaped from my brain the next minute. I haven’t gained any weight but my stomachs shape is so different. I’m 5’2 140 lbs so i’m not tiny but I’m not really chubby either. Just normal. And my belly has now moved all to the middle and I’ve got this little pot that makes doing pants up impossible. But I really feel that it’s too early for maternity pants. We’ll see if I can last for a few more weeks!